高攀不起。。

虽然我喜欢他。。但我和他的朋友一起出去时，我总是感到害怕。。
害怕我们身份不同。。。害怕我和他的阶层不同。。。害怕我们沟通不同。。。
我们真的会适合吗? 真的可以一起相处吗?

我真的高攀得起人家吗?

最特别的你。。。

认识你是我一生的奇迹。。。 对我而言。。， 你真的很特别。。。 你是我一生中梦寐以求的终身伴侣。。。 我喜欢你的一切。。。 喜欢你给我的感觉。。， 喜欢你对待我的方式。。。

跟你相处的那段日子虽然只有短短的几天。。， 但在那几天里。。， 我真的很快乐。。。

你知道吗。。。 你给我的感觉很梦幻。。, 因为实在太美好了。。。 你好像都知道我在想什么。。， 我要些什么。。。 让我难以置信。。， 既然有这种事发生在我身上。。， 真的好像在发梦似的。。。

虽然我们现在什么都不是。。， 但至少我们曾经拥有过。。, 曾经一起度过那段快乐的时光。。。美好的感觉。。。。。

那是我一生当中最美好的回忆。。。 永远不会被遗忘。。。永远都会怀念的感觉。。， 日子。。。

** -" lovelyannlee "- **

今天的心情真的很糟糕..!

* Dont noe wat happen to me... Keep no mood... So sien lahh... Izit i really dont noe or i noe but i dont wanna face it..?

* I really suffer... Too manythings happened together... I hav no that responbility to handle... Am i failure..? May be YES... I always hide & dont wanna face it...

* Wat i can do is just let it... Everythings also ''suan lahh''.., cause i really dont noe wat to do... I cant do anything... May be this is my style... ''STUPID''... Always let ppl make decision for me... Wait for the answer... Wat for lehh... My things mahh.., i should make my own decision... Y wanna let other ppl choose for me & let me know the answer... I ASLO DONT NOE Y... That y always make my own so suffer...



Ben Ben Ben... I hate myself y so stupid... Everything also 'ZI JI NA LAI DE' ......


yann

值得吗?

这几个星期里，我都会和他见面，在见面的时候他都对我很好，也会称呼得好像很亲切，有时还会拖我的手，但是我们什么关系也没有，只是朋友。。

他总是对我说"慢慢来，不要急着找男朋友"。。他说让我们彼此了解先。。虽然感觉上是会有开始的爱情。。。但没有人可以让我确定和肯定。。。

等一个将成真的答案是很心急但会开心的。。而等一个完全得不到肯定的答案是辛苦的。。。
如果等待一段会开花结果的爱情，就算时间多久都值得。。

但现在的我是否继续等待，还是选择放弃? 这样等下去是否值得呢? 这段爱情会开始吗? 这段爱情是否能开花结果呢?

宝贝，对不起啊。。

宝贝，对不起啊。。在你需要我的时候，我没有陪你，我不是不要陪你，只是我妈妈叫到我吃饭，我不得不听啊。。
人身是没有风平浪静的，一定会有风浪的，只是看我们能承受和抵抗得了吗。。。
我不会安慰人，只有一句我能说"如果那样东西是你的，到最后还是会回到你的身边的"。。。
不要在乎别人怎样看你，真真的"爱"是能化解一切的。。。
Take care.. we r always be there for u...

~*Julia*~

我现在才知道。。

为什么一个人可以扮演那么多的角色。。。
我真的被蒙在鼓里，到现在才知道。。。
为什么他在我面前总是扮演得那么好，那么的完美无缺。。。他的演技令我对他死心塌地。。
现在我才知道原来我只是他其中一个女朋友而已。。。原本以为真的是我的错，其实不是。。。
他利用我的爱欺骗了我。。为什么他可以用别人对他的真心去骗人。。。为什么他要骗人? 他骗人是不是为了要证明/要宣耀有多少女子为了他死心塌地/伤心和哭。。。
我现在才知道，他在我面前扮演的是个好男朋友，而在我后面就讲我的是非。。。
我现在回想为什么我会和这样的人交往。。令我觉得恐怖。。。
但我要谢谢你放我走。。给我重获自由。。。
我现在才知道什么叫着"知人口面不知心"。。。

*~JL~*

很乱的心情和感觉。。

到底怎样才可以知道一个人是否喜欢自己。。。
男人。。。如果你不是真心喜欢一个人，为什么你们可以用那么多的甜言蜜语去讨人喜欢，讨人开心。。但是到对方开始对他们有好感时，他们就好像不在乎了。。
男人。。。你们是否会对一个你不喜欢装作喜欢。。
到底你们是怎样的人。。你们知道这样会令人家的心情和感觉觉得很乱吗。。?

*~JL~*

关系。。

一个你喜欢的人，但你不确定他是否喜欢你。。
但他和你聊天时，他都称呼你"Dear"/"Darling"。。 到底这些称呼只是纯属于一个称呼而已，还是真的代表那种意识。。。?
还有当他和你出去，突然他牵你的手，但你们什么关系都不是，和他也没有向你表明过什么。。。这又代表什么意识呢? 这代表他喜欢你想和你交往，还是。。。。。?
到底这是什么关系? 朋友? 情侣?

*~JL~*

不知道。。

其实我对"爱"是一个怎样的女子? 我自己都不知道也不了解。。
在别人的眼里我又是怎样的人 ?
在别人的眼里我对爱又是怎样的女子?
是否在别人眼里会觉得我对爱情很执着?
还是在别人眼里会觉得我对爱情很儿戏? 因为我容易爱上一个人。。
还是在别人眼里会觉得我对一段新爱情过于投入/放太深的感情? 因为我会为了拍拖一个月的人伤透了心。。
我是不是一个渴望爱情的人?
我真的不知道。。。

~*Julia*~ 12.12.2007

累!!

现在是10.44pm，我刚刚冲完凉。。原本想上网看看，哪知道一坐下才突然觉得真的很累。。
今天一早我就醒了，梳洗完后就和我的姐妹们去吉隆跛市区逛街，我们从12点多逛到6点多。。
今天很开心，因为我买了很多东西所以花了很多钱。。但是真的很放松自己和很享受逛街的感觉。。
累了。。我要去睡觉了。。。
很累，但是是开心的。。。所以再累也是值得的。。。

*~Julia~* 11.12.2007

忘记得了吗?

我有朋友问我"其实你忘记你的前男友了吗?" 和 "你真的把他放下了吗?" 我答他"我已把他忘记了。。我真的把他放下了。。"

但是今天突然之间听到了我们之前一起听的歌，突然想起一起去过的地方，或是与你聊天。。我还会心疼/心酸， 我还会回想属于我们曾经的回忆。。美好的回忆是开心的是甜蜜的。。但你留给我的那段分手回忆却是那么的伤心。。那么难挨的日子。。。

分手三个星期多了，我原本以为现在我已把你放下了。。但原来我真的还没忘记，还没把你放下。。为什么会这样。。是因为你把我伤得太重！ 还是我爱你太深！

"爱"过了，就可以忘记吗? 真的忘记得了吗? 还是还会把他留在心里，永远忘记不了?

*~Julia~* 10.12.2007 8.00pm

这几天里。。已分手三个星期了。。

昨天放工后和我的姐妹们去Mid Valley Megamall走街/血拼。。过后晚上朋友约我们去Sanctuary放松自我。。和见见一个常在网上聊天的朋友(Jensten)。。我们玩到1点多然后再去Sunway那边喝茶。。过后到我姐妹家借宿一晚。。

我今天一早10点多起身后没有洗脸就驾车回家了，回到家后朋友打电话叫我吃午餐，但是我说我还没梳洗，然后他说打包吃的给我，我就跟他说不用那么麻烦。。所以我就匆匆忙忙洗脸，冲凉和打扮。。等我朋友来载我。。

吃饱后，回到家觉得很累就睡觉。。睡了很久。。很久没睡得那么熟了。。哈哈。。醒后吃饱晚餐就和我的姐妹们一起去喝茶。。

回到家后，没事做所以又上网了。。找人聊天。。突然我的前男友也上网了，我们聊了几句。。他问我昨晚去那里?然后他说他去Flam,他以为我也有去，他还说有一个女子跟他一起去。。我不知道为什么他要对我说这些。。他是要气我呢?还是只是随便说说而已。。

但是我已对他这些事已没有兴趣。。也不想知道。。从我和他认识/一起/分手到现在已经差不多两个月。。但我到现在才了解原来他是一个那么让女生注目。。那么多异性在身边的人。。而我了解我是一个不可以忍受和接受自己男朋友是一个异性缘很强的人。。

也许我们的分开是对的。。也许我们真的不适合。。。

我对"爱"。。我玩不起。。我也输不起。。我要找的只是一个爱我和我爱他的人。。我要找的只是一个可以给我安全感的人。。我要找的只是一个可以让我依靠一辈子的人。。。

那个人到底在哪里? 我几时才能遇见他? 他出现了吗?

*~Julia~* 10.12.2007 3.00am

08.12.2007 (SHOPPING DAY )

Today you all go shopping ohh except i dint go ;( ... 4 of us really long time dint go out all together liao... Sorry that i cant join... Enjoy & happy shopping to you all. ;)



yenyen

这19天里。。

从18/11/2007到今天£¬已经19天了,想回分手那天到的情景，我是伤心的。。但今天的我总算恢复了。。已经没有哭了。。

虽然我和他已分手，但我们还有在网络上联络。。在我们的谈话中，我感觉得到他是真的很爱他的前女友，他还很想挽回他们之间的感情。。但以我的感觉他还没挽回到。。

其实在我们谈话中，他会提到他的前女友。。虽然我心里有点不爽，但我明白在爱情里没分对或错，我现在明白当初他和我分手只是不想骗我的感情和浪费我的时间。。

我真的明白他所做的，所以我真的没有怪他。。

在我分手这段时间里，我有一位朋友一直陪在我身边，这位朋友是在网上认识的，虽然我们没见过面，但我们已认识差不多5年了。。一路来我们只有网上和电话联络。。我真的很谢谢他，谢谢他的安慰、关心、细心和哄我开心。。所以我才能度过这段伤心的日子。。

想起来，其实现在的我过得也不错吗! 有人陪我谈天、喝茶和吃饭。。哈哈。。

~*Julia*~ 06.12.2007

今天我又哭了。。

今天我又哭了。。但我哭不再是为了他。。
今天我哭是因为我今天去剪头发,那个死人发型师帮我剪了一个好像鬼的发型。。真的气死我了。。
我真的要闭关两个月不见人，所以姐妹们,对不起，新年才见吧!! 想念你们。。

~~下雨天~~

今天就好像平常一样 , 上班 ， 下班。。。。。下班回家的路上 ， 下起了大雨 ， 让我想起2007年也快过完了 ， 时间过得真快 ， 回想起今年真发生了很多事。。。。。有快乐的 ， 当然也有难过的。。。。。。。发生了这么多事 ， 也许这就是所谓的充实吧。。。。。一个很久没联络的朋友突然打来是想念还是因为寂寞想找人聊天才打这个电话呢?无论这是什么答案 ，我也没兴趣知道 ， 以前所发生的一切 ， 我已把它忘得一干二静了。。。。。。。。。就当作是一场梦吧 ， 清醒了 ， 真的清醒了。。。。。。。。。。还好有一个人在我发梦的时候不离不弃的站在原地等我 ， 真的想和你说声谢谢 ， 谢谢你的所有 ， 我会好好珍惜你的 ，爱 你大笨蛋 !!(*@*)

*~*<<终>>*~*

天气很冷，对啊，我很怕冷的。只是每次，我冷的时候你都在。你说过“朋友是可以做很久的”。我现在终于明白了。你要的只是一个朋友。一个可以在你难过，给你安慰的朋友。而我的爱，不曾带给你任何的麻烦，所以，你挑中了我 。
我可以说，你不曾爱过我吗？不行，因为，我们发生过的事，都是那么那么的深刻。我们曾为彼此而流下的眼泪，是那么的真实，我们对彼此的关心，都不是虚假的。只是，你对我的爱，还剩多少呢？都没了。
高佬告诉我，不要哭了，要哭，也为值得一点的事情哭吧，一切都是不值得的。
我问他是不是有打给他，他很惊讶的问回我他是不是有打给我。我说，没有。他也说，没有。
我知道，他打给他，告诉他我要走了。可是他还是无动于衷。可能，他是身不由己，可能，他已经忘了要来找我。可是不重要了。
我只是很渴望，我希望，我们可以用另外一种方式来延续我们的缘分，而这种方式，就像你说的，朋友。因为，朋友，是可以做很久的。

我们曾经说好，爱情多不可靠，
所以我们不要，变成情人好不好？
我们曾经说好，如果真的遇到，
爱上了谁都好，
记得要第一时间让我知道


*~*宝贝*~*

Yenyen sot sot d......

Cham loh.., today I getting sot sot d... Keep thinking & lost control d... Did sumthing very strange.., i also dont noe wat am I doing...
Sorry if i make anyone feel uncomfortable...


liyan
03.12.2007

JOGOYA JAPANESSE BUFFET

I went to Jogoya Japanesse Buffet at Starhill hotel... The place is very nice & many food there... I feel so happy cause hav alot of dessert... I ate my favourite cheese cake & haagen dazs ice-cream... hehe... Really feel happy , 'xin fu' & 'man zu' when i eating the cheese cake & the ice-cream... [ sure will be very fat d... :( ]
When i am enjoying my food, i saw a couple sit bsite me & the guys feed his gf to eat... so sweet nehh... Dont noe when will i found my true love lehh... ;o)

-" liyan'zz ''-
30.11.2007

Wake up...... -'' NEW LIFE "-

* Wake up lahh... Wanna wake for so long d.., but always also just thinking & not doing... '' kong kou shuo bai hua''... hehe
All those things already over jor... past d... Cant keep thinking d... Just keep as a memory......
* Fair for myself & fair to everyone......

* New life starting on 01.12.2007......


-" lyann lee siew yen "-
30.11.2007

Wat you left for me...

* Yesterday nite 29.11.2007 (Thursday) I went to the place that we started (our sweet memories)... Do you still remember where is the place... Because of we went there.., then only our relationship get starting... We when there on Thursday aslo ohh... That was a place that full of our memories... Every time I go there I will also thinking of YOU... But long time dint sit at the table that we sit d...
* I still remember when you just 'li kai' me.., you will call & msg me everyday even though you 'bu fang bian' & busy... You will try ur best to let me hear ur voice & receive ur msg... Then bcome 1 call & 1 msg in a day... Later on bcome no call d... But at least 1 good nite msg to me everynite... Then at last bcome nothing d... Actually I really not 'tan xin'.., I dint hope u to give me anything.., any promisse... Even though just a good nite msg.., i already feel very 'man zu' & very very happy d...
* I noe that may be we will not hav any 'jie guo'... But both of us agree to continue d rite..? You r the 1 who suggest to continue.., Say ' I LOVE YOU '.., ask me to hold u tight... I told you b4 I will just follow wat you say d rite..? So I agree with you... I really love you & hope to maintain our relationship.., even though we cant often c each other... But Y..? Y now you leave me alone without saying & telling me anything... "JIU ZHE YANG JIN QIAO QIAO DE ZOU LE''...
* Do you know that I havent give up..? But wat to do..? I hav no choice... I 'bei bi' to give up... Everyday still waitting for ur call & msg... But everyay also wait for 'nothing'... Each time saw you on9.., I feel very scared... Wanna find you chat.., but not dare... Just waitting for you to prompt me msg... But at last also I am the 1 who prompt you msg 1st... Act I understand... Sumtimes & sumthing non need to say out d... Should be understand & 'laio jie' without asking the reason & the answer... & actually the ANSWER already 'in my heart' d... But just sumtime 'bu si xin'... Want you to tell me by ur own... ;0)
* Hope to be ur forever friend... Anything aslo can share with me... Forever d best friend...
* Remember that I will always be at ur side...
* Wish you always 'xin fu' kuai le' ohhh...

Everything gone d... Wat you left to me is just the "SWEET MEMORY"... THANKS...


-" Yen @ dear / bao bei "-

我又哭了。。

12.30我刚从Flam Cafe回到家。。

现在是2.10am..我刚刚打电话给他，我哭了，我是真的很想念他的声音，我再次叫他"Dear dear"，我已12天没听到他的声音了。。今天我终于再次听到了。。我真的很想念他，很怀念我们在一起的日子，虽然短短一个月，但回忆已刻入我心。。

亲爱得dear dear, 对不起，也许是我喝多了才会打电话打扰你，我是真的很想你，所以我才会做出这样的事。。。

他在电话里告诉我，他在这个星期里都有传简讯给我，想约我吃晚餐，但我真的一封都没收到。。为甚么。。难道是天意? 为甚么别人的我就收到? 唯有他的简讯我收不到。。

他知道我在哭。。

到现在我已哭了超过一个小时半。。我越哭越大声，越哭越厉害。。
我真的不舍得失去你。。但我不能做些什么。。。

宝贝dear dear, 我不在你身边要好好照顾自己，不要让我担心。。。保重。。。我是爱你的。。。。

~*Julia*~ 30.11.07 3.18am

STRANGE FEELING

This few days also hav sum strange feeling... Really feel uncomfortable... Make me feel so sad...

liyann
29.11.2007

感觉。。。

不知不觉已和他分手11天了。。。今天我也像平常一样，做工，放工，回家，只是今天没在家吃饭，和朋友出去吃。。我知道我这位朋友很关心我。。但是。。我还不能接受。。。

回家后，我上网，看连续集，听歌，突然他也上网了，当我看到他的名显示出来时，我的心跳得很快，不知道开心还是心酸。。我也不了解那种心情。。但我们两不知不觉就聊了起来。。。。

他知道我那天去寻欢，他问我"是不是和他(alex)去啊?" 。。突然有点开心，因为觉得他还关心我。。但我告诉他我和我的姐妹们去的。。

他也有问我最近怎样，我说和以前一样。。他还问了一个我意想不到的问题"我们几天没见了 ?"当我听到这句话。。我哭了。。我回答他11天了。。他说时间过得真快。。其实他不知道这11天我过得很辛苦。。

在我们的对话之中，他重复了很多次"对不起"，"是我不好，伤害了你。。"但我还是对他说"没关系，已经过了"。。他看到我MSN的题目"我真的很想念你"和"已不想谈恋爱，不是不要，而是怕再次被伤害！"。。他问我什么意思。。我说"没什么啦"。。他又问我"真的吗"。。。。这次我没回答他。。其实我真的很想告诉他"这些是我的心里话，是我想告诉你的话。。。。"

他还告诉我，他说他这几天都没心情工作，我就问他"为什么?"，他说"因为你"，因为他觉得他很坏，伤害了我。。。我沉默没出声。。过后他说他累了要睡了。。他在离开前对我说"如果你有什么需要帮忙的，你可以打电话给我"。。。然后就挂了。。。

我真的不知道我自己那时的感觉。。到底是开心? 伤心? 安慰?

这几天我都听着一首歌，李玖哲唱的"我会好好过", 因为他唱出我想说的话。。"我会好好过, 等你再爱我, 向左或向右, 都有我站在这里守候。。"

我想对他说我还很想念你。。很想拥抱你。。很想再次投入你的怀抱。。。

我还爱你。。

~*Julia*~ 29.11.07 2am

*~*曾經*~*

曾經不愛自由，跟你一起，寧願受束縛。然後有一天，愛上了自由，寧願冒著失去愛情的危險，也要追尋我的自由。

曾經好想一直躲在你的臂彎，你的懷抱裡，被你保護著。然後有一天， 發現我原來不是這樣的人。

曾經以為，愛情是人生的全部。然後有一天，發現那只是我浪擲了最多光陰的一部分。

曾經以為，即使愛上你，我也可以全身而退。然後有一天，發現我退得滿身傷痕。

曾經以為，愛上了，就不會寂寞。然後有一天，還是會寂寞。

曾經以為你會永遠愛我，於是一直測試你對我的愛，一直挑戰你的底線。然後有一天，發現你果然沒那麼愛我了。

曾經害怕失去你，然後有一天，明白了人生的無常。

曾經想要從你身邊走開，跟你說：「忘了我吧！」。然後有一天發現，雖然一起已經沒有那麼甜，離開還是會捨不得。

*~*by melody*~*

我也不了解什么是。。爱！

以前我一直认为"爱"是很简单的，爱是由两个人建立的，是从双方认识开始，感觉，了解，喜欢和感情而开始的。。慢慢的就产生他们之间的爱情。。

但是现在的爱情也许是由外表，样子，穿着打扮，可能也许有一点点好感和重点"钱"而开始的。。到底爱情是否真的能用钱来衡量吗?

虽然我一直认为愛一个人是付出, 而被愛是幸福的！

在好的方面想"爱一个人是很开心，很享受愛一个人的喜悅，看着自己喜歡的人開心自己也就開心起來了".. "而坏的方面想"愛一个人是很痛苦的,因為你很愛他,他卻不珍惜或不愛你。。"

在好的方面想"被愛是开心和幸福的，就像被人守护着", 而坏的方面想"被愛是很不自在的,如果爱你的人不是你爱的人, 你就会觉得有人对你死纏爛打。。"　

其实最幸福和开心的是两人真心相爱，可以互相分擔喜怒哀樂和互相解憂解愁。。

但现在的我已慢慢不了解，不明白什么是爱。。。
对爱的感觉变得很模糊。。。

因为爱令我感到很深的伤害。。令我流了很多的眼泪。。。
他真的把我伤得很深。。很痛。。。

~*已不想谈恋爱的人，不是不要，而是怕再次被伤害！*~

~*Julia*~ 26.11.2007

-" LOVE "-

Wat is LOVE..? Now days I really don’t noe wat is LOVE…
LOVE should be very simple, ‘dan chun’ , trustable & HAPPY... but I realize now days d ppl not serious in LOVE… They will just play play… especially guys…
Really not dare to trust LOVE… Drop for so many times, until so many scars… Really SCARE d...
Y..? y wanna make it so sad? LOVE shd be HAPPY & 'XIN FU' d...
True LOVE really hard to find… those who found, must ‘zhen xi’ ohh… REMEMBER…
Hope to find sumone that can let me trust him so much… true on me... SERIOUS in LOVE…
I wanna find my "XIN FU"ohh......

* Guys... U all must remember... THINK abt the girl's feeling & the 'hou guo'
- when u say "I LOVE YOU"...
- when u say " I MISS YOU"...
- bfore u make a promise...
- bfore u tell her anything
- .......

* Everyone must remember that LOVE should be true at all the time & "yi xin yi yi"......


-" lyAnn "-
26.11.2007

*~*day dreaming...*~*

As usual, wake up, bruth my teeth and ready to start a new day...
suddenly found my eye rings which long time never wear on it...
when i meet YOU, i am wearing this earing also...( silent for long time )
Now only i know, when you miss a person, no matter what thing you saw, you will make it automatically link to that person...(haihz)
Life is short....so fast already few months over ler....so fast, the only year 2007 will end soon...thanks for being with me my jimui...when i need someone, you all will be there for me...and i really appreciate on few of my frenz, who treat me as their family....i will never ever forget you all....yi?! why sounds like i am gonna to die lidat ar?! (normally ppl will say those things b4 they die i think...CHOY! haha ! )
Anyway...just a little miss him...and a great thank to you all...and keep listening the song, to create a down melody....which long time never enjoy to be alone and silent my mind...
Just shut up and shut down everything...don't think anythg....leave it blur....

*~*melody*~*

FAMILY'S DAY (SUNDAY 25.11.07)......

Today I so 'guai' ohh.., accompany my family for whole day... Summore cook 'tong sui' & 'muk shu' for my family... Now only i realize that i really long time dint cook dessert liao... hehe...
Sorry to my 'ji mui' cause cant accompany you...

-" Lyann "-

*~*I cant make you love me...if you don't*~*

Listening to the song " I cant make you love me" from Bonnie Rait...

I received a call from my friend....A guy...who did so many things for me, but never ask for any rebate...The conversation is like below...

668: Luilui...where are you now?
Melody: Hanging around with doing nothing...Why?
668: I just feel like wants to talk with you....wants to hug you hardly...
Melody: What happen? you sounds like crying? Big boy...don't cry...
668: I just have some problems...which only can settle by myself...I don't know how to tell others because there's no one can I talk to...I feel so suffer and I feel I am not me anymore...I need someone...and that one is you, I never dare to ask you to love me....because I cant make you love me...but i wish you hear your voice when i need someone...there's no one i can talk to like how you did....when i hear your voice, i just can see that i almost can see you...can see you are just right beside me...please...accompany me for some while...please...
Melody: *speechless* (tears rolling in my eyes)
668: I will miss you always, but you will never be there for me...I know, I understand...because of too understand...that's y i was always the one who thinking not to trouble on you...and i know, I can't make you love me, if you don't....

I can totally understand his feel...and I can understand "HIS" feel too...668 treat me good, hardest good...but i really cant love him, i cant give him anything...like how "HE" treat me...no matter how...he cant love me....he cant give me anything...

The feel of 668 wish to hear the person he needed voice....I know I understand his feeling...
I wish to hear his voice right now...even I am not beside him...but when i hear his voice, i owez feel that i can almost see him...

Still listening this song...." I cant make you love me..."

the lyrics are " I cant make you love me...If you don't...you cant make your heart feel something you don't know..."

*~*by melody*~*

*~*奇迹*~*

错的时间遇见对的人,是一种遗憾...
不停的想着这两句话的意思...
在我为你伤心,为你难过的时候,你是否也会在难过?
在我不会再出现在你的面前的时候,你是否会想念我?
如果你听到有关于我的一切的时候,你会不会心里有些许的悸动?
我如果忽然的出现,你会不会紧紧的抱紧我,别再让我走开?
如果你不会的话,那你就不是我期待的那个对的人...
那你,就不会是我的遗憾...
我们只是萍水相逢,只是"刚好"我们出现在同一个地方,"凑巧"的坐在彼此的附近,"顺便"的留了个电话,"不为意"的拨了几通的电话,就这样而已...
我们,都不是彼此的遗憾,我们,是彼此的"奇迹"

现在是2点凌晨。。

现在是2点凌晨。。我刚刚到家。。我今天放纵自己跟姐妹们到sunway的flam去寻欢。。本来以为只是去喝茶，但是最后改变主意了。。
在那儿我又听到我不想听到的歌。。又遇到他的朋友。。haiz。。。。

这几天的我。。。我真的不知道！！

跟他分手七天了。。这几天的我过得很辛苦，虽然表面看来好像没事，当朋友问我"你还好吧?" 我都答得很轻松说"我没事了，没哭了"。。其实我心里还是很难受和伤心。。。这几天我尽量把自己的时间排得满满的，为的只是不要让我自己在想起他。。其实我自己很了解和清楚我其实还很想他。。虽然爱情没分对或错，但是我还是想象是他的错，也许我是想让自己去恨他让我可以早点忘记他。。

我知道我不可能那么容易就放下他，因为我知道我还很在乎，很惦记和很爱他。。虽然他伤得我很重。。假如现在他要挽回我们之间的感情，我想我会再接受他。。但是我知道这是不可能发生的事。。就算真的发生了我也不敢接受，因为我害怕。。。。再次受到伤害。。那种伤害真的真的很辛苦。。

这几天我尽量不要想起他，但不知道为什么在最伤心时。。去散心的地方云顶也是我们的回忆(我和他在哪里度过我的生日的地方)。。去吃东西的地方和点的食物都是以前我们一起去过和吃过的。。的在路上遇到的都是银色的Toyota Vios。。在百货公司播的都是他喜欢的歌(Don't Matter)。。真的不知道为什么，在我最不想想起他的时候，偏偏给我遇到这些事。。

其实我真的很想问他。。你真的忘记我了吗? 你真的忘了我们在一起度过的日子了吗? 你真的不在乎我了吗? 你真的不爱我了吗?

我也想问我自己我真的能把他放下吗? 我真的能忘记他吗? 我真的能不想念他吗? 我真的能不爱他了吗 ?。。。我真的不知道。。不知道。。。

Suddenly d FEEL @ 23.11.07 (morning)

* This morning i saw sumthing that make me feel upsad & 'xin suan'... Before i view the profile, i tot i will hav nothing just 'ping chang xin'... but when i saw those picture, suddenly i feel very 'xin suan' & think back all those bad & sweet memories...
* Manythings happened in this few month & make me changed a lot... I tot i really grow up & i am 'jian qiang' enuv. Any 'wei qu' any unhappy things happened i also can handle it without crying, without 'jie yi', very open minded, everything also nvm, just let it go... Everything also just be FINE...
* But now only i realize that act i lie to the world even though myself... I am not fine & i am not happy at all... I am a human too, I hav '7 qing 6 yok'... Human really will not be fine at all the time... Sumtimes will be HAPPY ; SAD... Non need to hide our own... Just be ourself... Wanna cry just cry & wanna laugh just laugh...
* But most important things is move forward & not keep looking at the back... Non need to care abt wat others ppl saying... They missunderstand or say sumthing that not rite, just let it... I cant control wat others ppl thinking & wat they wanna say... I just can be myself... Do wat i wanna do... wat i like to do... as long as 'dui dak zhu yan, dui dak zhu ji gei'... Thats enuv...
* The person that can really treat myself good & real to me at all the time... Was MYSELF......
* I really grow up act... I learned a lot of things from my frenz & my ji mui... Especially U(melody), u teach me alot... I dont wanna hide anymore... THANKS for u all... I will 'zhen xi' wat i am having now……
* LYANN is coming back... I WANNA BE MYSELF... I wanna be HAPPY ALWAYS & LIFE HAPPLY......

~shen bing de yi tian~

hao xin ku a........wo jin tian shen bing le , hai mei qu kan yi shen............qi shi wo xiang ming tian qing jia de , dan shi wo si chang MC , you dian bu hao yi si..............wo ye bu zhi dao wei shen me mei tian hui shen bing , ke neng wo shen ti bi jiao ruo ba...........gang cai kan le JI MUI de zhen qing gao bai , zhen de you dian gan chu ......mei ge ren dou hui jing li bu kai xing de jie duan , dan shi zhe jiu shi ren shen.......xi wang da jia dou kai kai xing xing ba...........JIA YOU JI MUI!!!!

~~CY~~

I Agree...Pls Don't Promise!! 22.11.07

Ji mui . . i agree wat u say..."他們说的话,永远都是那么的好听。他們答应过的事，也永远都是那么的好听". Before tat i aso trust everthing they(he) say, but now i really understand "他們的承诺，永远都只是好听的话而已"，i really wan to ask him "如果你們做不到的，你們何必答应呢？" Guys u all must know tat if anything u cant make it please don't promise to someone!! It will let someone get hurt.....

*~*好听*~*

你说的话，永远都是那么的好听。你答应过我的事，也永远都是那么的好听。重复了那么多遍，还是百听不厌。因为我喜欢听，所以你就不听的说，可是到后来，会发觉这所有的所有，都只不过是一句好听的话而已，就是这样而已。

宝贝的承诺，永远都只是好听的话而已，如果你做不到的，你何必答应呢？

突然很喜欢许如云的一首“好听”。有机会我一定会唱给你听的。“你说的话，永远都是那么的好听，你说的话，我都会相信。”

*~*melody*~*

Someone tell me tis...21.11.07

Today someone tell me tis words "我不必为他伤心…我只是失去了一个不认真爱我的人…可是他…却失去了一个真真爱他,真心爱他的人…所以…我比他好…对吧？幸福…只要我曾经认真拥有过…幸福还是在我的心灵的…" when i saw that i feel tat really meaningful..
I really know actually so many ppl stand beside me.. to care , accompany, share wif me..thank u..!!! i will recover soon..

*~*了解*~*

鱼和水，往往都生活在一起。鱼和水说：“你永远不会看见我什么时候流泪，因为我生活在水里” 水摇摇头，笑着对鱼说：“我知道你什么时候是在流泪的，因为，你活在我的心里”
一直以来，我都相信我是水，你是那一只鱼。一直都以为自己很了解你。因为，总觉得你和我很像。你曾经说过一句“你是最了解我的女人”。
时间渐渐证明了我是多余的，我到现在才知道，这才是真的你啊。
原来我才是那只鱼，因为你是留不住的水啊。
最难忘的，是你说过的那句，我了解你。
最遗憾的，是我根本就不了解你，你对我来说，很陌生。

~*~*美乐蒂*~*~

20.11.07 3rd day...

Today is the 3rd day we break up... today i feel better abit.. today in office really feel tired..afterwork i go dinner wif my family... after dinner i go yam cha wif my ji mui, then yam cha again wif my old fren.. i arrange my schedule wif full cos i dowan let myself alone n think again the sad.. i mus ganbateh... i must find back myself..

19.11.07.. the 2nd day..

today is the 2nd day i break up wif my bf.. i very thank u all my jimui n a net fren (Wayne) who i know him abt 5 or 6 years but we never meet b4 , they all always care 4 me..today i work 1/2 day ,after lunch i take leave.. i crazy until go to genting wif my jimui, we go there jus walk aroung then come back again.. when i together wif my jimui i still cant let down my feeling,my jimui talk to me "u jus need sometime to recover yourself, may b 2 week or two month or the most is 2 years".. i know i will .. but when i m alone now, i will think again n cry again..now is 2am.. jus now 1am somthing i jus reach home from my grandma house cos today is her birthday.. now i got chat wif him in MSN, he still call me DEAR DEAR.. he say sorry to me.. i cry again when saw him call me like tat..
i really miss him..i aso dunno y only 1 month can let me love him so deep..

19.11.07 Morning

Today when i wake up the 1st thing i think is i feel miss him..i feel wan hug him... i cant control myself i send sms to him.. he never reply .. i reach office .. i sit at office i feel wanna cry i scare i lose control to cry.. my head so pain.. i will take leave after lunch.. go find a place let me cry.. tq my ji mui always support me n accompany me.. i know i will be ok 1 days... may b i jus wan some time to recover... i mus "jien qiang"..

1 Month 4 Days.. 14.10.07-18.11.07

Today is the day i really sad n hurt..

Today is the day i together wif my bf 1 month 4 days..

Today also the day i break up wif my bf..

Today also is The End of our(me & bf) relationship..

So hurt..really so hurt... :( 18.11.2007

Today is 18.11.2007.. today really is the bad day in my 21 year of my life.. yesterday until today evening 5pm my bf never give me a call n sms..i control myself dowan call him cos i wanna see izit he will care abt me. today afternoon i go 1 Utama wif c yong n lyann..i go there actually is hope tat can see him a while even he is work..but he never at 1 Utama tis afternoon..so i jus shpping at there, but until 5pm i cant control liao i call him.. i ask him where r u then he say he at subang repair his car..then i ask him u not come find me for dinner meh? he ask me r u received my sms tis morning? i say no! i dint received any sms today.. then i ask him wat u write abt the sms , he told me tat he wan "single life" . . when i hear tat i jus hand up the call..then i cry..then we leave 1 Utama, the way we back i drive but other side i m crying, i cry when out from 1 Utama until puchong..at puchong i stop my car a side at bandar puteri..then i cry so long time.. until 7pm then we onli go sunway for my dinner..i really no mood to eat jus feel like wanna cry.. after dinner i ask my bf's fren ah tung to sunway cos i got somthing wan to ask him.. tat he told me is my bf say i m too over for checking him n control him, i know that i always ask him many thing , i will always ask bcos i feel tat he heart not fix at a place..so i worry.. every gf aso will unhappy if hear tat their bf take dinner or tea wif another girl..rite? i really nothing can say wif his fren i jus know to cry..
abt 9.30 i out from sunway to puchong bandar puteri station 1 hav a drink wif fren until 10.40pm we go back home..
when i reach home i straight away on my pc n check his frienster, cos last time when we start our relationship he give me know their password but now i log in he oredi change.. when the pc view tat wrong password my tear straight away drop down.. n inside his frenster profile all aso change..he change to b single n delete all our photo.. i really so hurt..
now i typing tis blog i m crying.. n saw tat his MSN personal msg write tat "I m starting my single life already..hehe.." u know how i hurt? the hurt i dunno how to explain..
~that he really so happy after break up wif me?
~tat he care abt my feel?
~tat he know how hurt m i?
~tat he know i m crying now?
~tat he really can let our relationship go?
~tat he still think abt me? even jus a bit?
~tat he know i still so miss him?
~tat he know i still LOVE HIM?
~r u still remember wat u PROMISE me before? where all the promise
go?
*All the promise:-
-he promise tat if anything he do make me unhappy , ask me must told
him , he will change.
-he promise tat he will no leave me forever.
-he promise tat if i m crazy he will still love me forever.. (cos i say to him i miss
him bcome crazy)
-he promise tat he will not change his atitude(when he treat me so good) tat he
treat me
-he promise tat he will not leave me start from 14.10.07. until die..
-he promise tat he will LOVE me for whole life.
-the promise more i feel warm is he write tat " my name is Han wei kong,
IC no.831017-10-5317 promise will care , love n hug my darling Julia
ling IC no. 861104-56-5298 forever"
*~ where all of this promise go?~*
i view back all the msg u send to me.. i feel happy but so hurt..
I think back the moment we together, i found he got call me like " loupo, darling, popo, bao bei ,ai ren , dear n the most warm is DEAR DEAR".
tat r so sweet!! BUT Now...
*Everything is gone(END)*

*~* Fair enough*~*

suddenly, all of us already turn to 21, all of us is going to be 22...
before these...how are we? who are we? and what is happening in the past to create the current JLsm?
We walk through our first love with different guys....we fall in love for the first time, it was so sweet...and every minute every words within the love story is keep touching our heart...
Our heart breaks after some important moment...our first love gone....what is the meaning of first love? the first guy you fall on him? or the first guy you love n gether? I don't know....but i still remember my first love is belongs to a guy who treated me damm bad... *laugh*
Suddenly think about him...he is a cute guy...who will never appreciate in girl's true heart...
He will just fool those girls around...I still remember kah hor told me b4 that he is not a simple person... " do you know that he change gf like changing clothes? " haha... but i bang the wall myself....and at last....i can see nothing other than the blood is floating around my heart....
Since that day...i swear not to be fool by those guys....i have the ability to be a good gf but i don't want, because he might not the good bf to you...
I started my playing life...keep desired by guys, but they will not ever have the change to destroy me, melody ! it sounds cruel to myself, that will not able to taste the love in my life, but i am enjoying to be a player in the relationship... no resposibility, no tears....only fun....
Until i met him. But he is a player as well. : )
he is good in playing those relationship games...and i am either one of his toy...
I scream, i sad, i cry...why he wants to do these on me...
and suddenly i think about those jerks who played by me before...they hurt too....
but what i did? never care about their feelings at all....
sometimes....human will just think that how unfair those ppl treat them....but did they think about how they treat others ppl in their life?
He is a player...and he fool me well....
but think deeply...i realize that...don't know since when....I am a player too, right? :)
Player VS Player....it's fair enough.... :)

LyAnn 18.11.2007

Hihi, i am Lyann. Nice to meet u all here. This is the 1st time i log into our blog. paiseh nehh. Happy that we can share our 'sam xi' & feeling here. Wish all of my 'ji mui' & me will be HAPPY ALWAYS & GOOD LUCK.

My Feel on 17.11.2007 *JULIA*

Today no any special thing..morning go work then afternoon go for meeting wif my mum.. today morning n afternoon i aso quite happy cos my bf got call(10.30am & 02.11pm) me n ask wat i m doing.. i know tat today he is bz for his work so today never come n find me, he ask me find my fren(lyann) to accompany me go out(shopping & drink tea)..after meeting around 3pm i go back home take bath then go to SJMC visit my cousin sister until evening abt 6.30pm.. i wait for so long time he aso never call me then i call him.. he told me tat he at subang parade center..i ask him y no call me wan,he say cos he quite bz..then he told me tat he will take his dinner wif his ex gf..i ask y u eat wif her , he say she work at here ma n i aso wanna eat dinner wan ma..i feel so down(sad).. anywhere nvm lo wat can i do.. jus act like so "da fang" say ok lo..actually if my bf really miss me or he wan to see me, even he is bz or i from the place so far to his work place, i aso can go there to find him for dinner wan.. i jus hope can see him more.. after the call(6.30pm) he never call me anymore(jus today la).. then i go dinner wif my mum n cousin until 8pm then i go to find yen hv a drink wif a fren..actually i control myself dont call him see wat time he only will call back me.. but i wait until 12am he aso never call me , i cant wait oredi so i call him, he say he drink tea wif his fren at sri petaling call me when he is back.. i wait his call n also wait him back see his got on9 or not, suddenly i saw tat his MSN(offline) personal msg write tat "haiz..i hurt myself.." i cant get wat he mean n tis word aso let me think so mant question...Now 18.11.07 4.45am he aso never call me n no any sms for today(whole day).. i really wanna ask him "who m i in his heart n r u care abt my feeling?" i dont wan so suffer everyday.. sometime treat u good sometime treat u cool.. haiz..he really hurt me..

~给姐妹的祝福~

其实爱情就是如此 , 有开心也会有难过.........你就坦白和他说你所不开心的事 , 让他知到你的心里是怎样想的.姐妹 , 沟通是很重要的 , 有什么不爽就三口六面讲清楚 , 不要托托拉拉 , 不要好学不学 , 去学以前的我!!好吧 , 就说到这 , 记得有什么不开心的事都有我们这班姐妹在陪你渡过........... 海蓉的祝福......

*~*緣份*~*

什麼是緣份﹖我看著我身邊的姐妹因為緣起而快樂﹐也看著她們因為緣滅而哭泣。愛情故事﹐總是感人﹐可是﹐那個感動可以延續多久呢﹖自己的感覺固然重要﹐可是並不代表這個世界只有你。美樂蒂也會不開心﹐可是美樂蒂不開心的時候﹐她喜歡躲起來。雖然﹐這個舉動很像小女孩﹐可是﹐自己一個人﹐在一個屬于自己的空間﹐只知道向前走﹐雖然不知道會走到哪裡﹐可是﹐你會發覺﹐前方﹐永遠都有路﹐都有可以讓你往前走的路。
我記得有一次﹐我自己一個人﹐很不開心﹐漫無目的的駕著我的“小可”﹐望高速公路的方向前進﹐我開始了“跟蹤”的游戲。在漫漫大“路”上﹐那麼多量車﹐大家都互不相識﹐可是他們都是不同的個體﹐帶著不同的心情﹐往不同的方向前去。我選中了其中一輛車﹐裡面坐著一個女生﹐她沒有什麼表情﹐很普通的一個女生。我一路尾隨著她的車﹐我不知道她將帶我去到一個什麼地方。終於﹐我看見她有停下的動作了。原來﹐她要去的地方﹐是醫院。她來醫院做什麼﹖她病了嗎﹖還是她有朋友誕生了小BB﹖還是她的親人出事了呢﹖我將永遠都不知道那個答案。看著她走進了醫院的大門﹐心想﹕原來﹐世界上每一個角落﹐每一分鐘﹐都有不同的人在想著不同的東西。剛才我是在哭的﹐在難過的﹐心里腦里都是他﹐而那個女孩呢﹖我們同樣用了40分鐘走了這段同樣的道路﹐可是那時她是在想什麼﹖我帶著很多的感慨﹐離開了醫院。我不知道我是在什麼地方﹐我一直的往前走﹐知道我看見了一輛進口車﹐裡面有著一家大笑。我跟著他們﹐開往了另一個我不知道的目的地。我的腦海里充滿了剛剛那位女孩的背影﹐抽著煙﹐心裡面很平靜。走著走著﹐我走回了我剛才出發的地方。原來﹐他們是要來這裡﹐那他們是來了會走呢﹖還是他們去了別的地方﹐而將回來了呢﹖我不知道。可是我明白了一個道理﹐原本想逃離真心的地方﹐所以放下了真心﹐逃去別個陌生的世界﹐可是兜兜轉轉﹐我還是回來了這個我放下真心的地方﹐而且﹐帶我回來面對的人﹐不到最後一刻﹐你永遠都不知道他是誰。
姐妹啊﹐愛情﹐原本就是會讓人煩心一輩子的東西﹐愛情﹐原本就是一樣你永遠都不知道你到底了不了解的東西。
但我們都了解﹐我們是永遠的朋友﹐有難﹐我們一起熬﹐有甜﹐我們一起嘗。世事變化無常﹐我們要珍惜我們身邊與眼前的一切。尤其是﹐也同樣珍惜著你的人。

LOVE

Hi..nowaday i always feel no mood..jus b'cos i got some problem wif my bf.. actually i know him not so long(jus few day)..we meet each other really is fate, b'cos actually we will not meet in our life.. We meet each other b'cos of his fren oso my fren.. we no see each other b4, then suddenly my fren tell me got ppl wanna know me then she pass his(my bf) name card 4 me.. then we start our story in MSN chat.. then call..then meet(dinner)..we hv good image for each other.. then after few day we meet again then we start our love storey.. i really happy together wif him..i know we jus start our relationship how come will love a ppl so much .. i really dunno aso..but it is really show it..until today we already together 1 month 3 days.. within tis month.. we celebrate his 24th years old birthday(dinner wif all his fren) n my 21st birthday(dinner buffet at pyramid tower hotel wif all my fren) .. then we go genting for 2days 1 night trip, really is a great birthday.. when start our love story, we meet each other every day, even he is bz but we meet jus 10 minutes it is enough for us.....
after 3 week, i found tat he r change, b4 tat even he bz wif work he aso always stick wif me , call me, sms me.. but nowadays he never do tat oredi..he seldom call me n sms me, i call him he say "i m bz now call back u later" or no hang up my call.. sms him he aso late reply or no reply.. i so unhappy..
we oredi seldom meet , then last 2 days we meet for dinner abt 10.00pm after dinner we go to find his fren to acc his fren 4 dinner, suddenly his ex gf call him abt 11.30pm.. ask him go for times square there, cos she say she scare to the carpark, ask him go there acc her.. he straight away promise her n straight away fetch me back home.. i know he still care abt his ex n last few days his ex jus break up so nowaday will always find him.. be a gf sure will unhappy when a guy talk abt his ex..rite? but he say to me ask me mus be "da fang(open minded)"..that night i cry ..cry ..cry.. i really feel tat b crazy..he go KL there until abt 1.45am only back.. then after i wait him home we got call..then everything ok oredi..nothing oredi..
yesterday he off day the after i work he bring me to 1Utama cos his company got road show at there..ok.. we go there for dinner n walk walk.. i feel tat we dont hv topic to talk.. haiz... sad..
i always told myself dont think too much.. y wanna make myself so suffer..
i m JULIA ..i m a happy n always smile girl.. y myself oredi change for tis guy?
i always feel like wana cry..really no mood...
i try to let tis relationship go..
... i really love him n miss him so much... dear dear dont treat me like tis ..ok?
pls care my feel..
i do everyting b'cos of u..
pls..... : (

halo..*

hihi..i JULIA...one of our ji mui..i m the younger..hehe..tis is the 1st time i log in to our blog..i jus wanna share our feeling .. haha..

*~*melody in blog*~*

EVERYONE! welcome to Jlsm blog... just read my sister, sea yong's post...she such a cute girl...who keep asking me to cheng qing for her that she is not that fat as show in the pic. wahahaha!! she say " zhen ren bi shang jing piao liang hen duo, wo ben ren bi jiao di diao, bu xi huan chu feng tou, suo yi wo fang yi zhang bi jiao bu hao kan de zhao pian" wahahahaha!!
She told me that she is now in station1 drinking, and she accidentally knock her head! haha! and there's a girl saw her stupid attitude and laugh on her!! wakakakakakakak!
Last 2 days she called me, and she ask me to play a game " goh zai gu gu gu goh zai" haha! she sing as below:

Fui sik , har har har ; har har har
Fui sik, har, har, har ; har har har

do u know what song is this??
if u know....let us know....
she will free u a kiss ~
hahahahahahhahahaha

Take k ya my good frenz ~ your vocal...hmmm....need improve lar...
hahahahahah

by melody

seayong de di yi ci

halo , wo shi seayong !!chu ci jian mian , qing duo duo zhi jiao !!wo shi xing ren lai de , huan ying da jia gei wo zhi dao!!wo chi dian hui mai dian nao , e............ , ying gai shi you ren hui song wo dian nao cai dui ,wakakakaka.....................dao shi xi wang duo yi dian ren lai he wo jiao peng you o ................