*~*奇迹*~*

错的时间遇见对的人,是一种遗憾...
不停的想着这两句话的意思...
在我为你伤心,为你难过的时候,你是否也会在难过?
在我不会再出现在你的面前的时候,你是否会想念我?
如果你听到有关于我的一切的时候,你会不会心里有些许的悸动?
我如果忽然的出现,你会不会紧紧的抱紧我,别再让我走开?
如果你不会的话,那你就不是我期待的那个对的人...
那你,就不会是我的遗憾...
我们只是萍水相逢,只是"刚好"我们出现在同一个地方,"凑巧"的坐在彼此的附近,"顺便"的留了个电话,"不为意"的拨了几通的电话,就这样而已...
我们,都不是彼此的遗憾,我们,是彼此的"奇迹"

现在是2点凌晨。。

现在是2点凌晨。。我刚刚到家。。我今天放纵自己跟姐妹们到sunway的flam去寻欢。。本来以为只是去喝茶，但是最后改变主意了。。
在那儿我又听到我不想听到的歌。。又遇到他的朋友。。haiz。。。。

这几天的我。。。我真的不知道！！

跟他分手七天了。。这几天的我过得很辛苦，虽然表面看来好像没事，当朋友问我"你还好吧?" 我都答得很轻松说"我没事了，没哭了"。。其实我心里还是很难受和伤心。。。这几天我尽量把自己的时间排得满满的，为的只是不要让我自己在想起他。。其实我自己很了解和清楚我其实还很想他。。虽然爱情没分对或错，但是我还是想象是他的错，也许我是想让自己去恨他让我可以早点忘记他。。

我知道我不可能那么容易就放下他，因为我知道我还很在乎，很惦记和很爱他。。虽然他伤得我很重。。假如现在他要挽回我们之间的感情，我想我会再接受他。。但是我知道这是不可能发生的事。。就算真的发生了我也不敢接受，因为我害怕。。。。再次受到伤害。。那种伤害真的真的很辛苦。。

这几天我尽量不要想起他，但不知道为什么在最伤心时。。去散心的地方云顶也是我们的回忆(我和他在哪里度过我的生日的地方)。。去吃东西的地方和点的食物都是以前我们一起去过和吃过的。。的在路上遇到的都是银色的Toyota Vios。。在百货公司播的都是他喜欢的歌(Don't Matter)。。真的不知道为什么，在我最不想想起他的时候，偏偏给我遇到这些事。。

其实我真的很想问他。。你真的忘记我了吗? 你真的忘了我们在一起度过的日子了吗? 你真的不在乎我了吗? 你真的不爱我了吗?

我也想问我自己我真的能把他放下吗? 我真的能忘记他吗? 我真的能不想念他吗? 我真的能不爱他了吗 ?。。。我真的不知道。。不知道。。。

Suddenly d FEEL @ 23.11.07 (morning)

* This morning i saw sumthing that make me feel upsad & 'xin suan'... Before i view the profile, i tot i will hav nothing just 'ping chang xin'... but when i saw those picture, suddenly i feel very 'xin suan' & think back all those bad & sweet memories...
* Manythings happened in this few month & make me changed a lot... I tot i really grow up & i am 'jian qiang' enuv. Any 'wei qu' any unhappy things happened i also can handle it without crying, without 'jie yi', very open minded, everything also nvm, just let it go... Everything also just be FINE...
* But now only i realize that act i lie to the world even though myself... I am not fine & i am not happy at all... I am a human too, I hav '7 qing 6 yok'... Human really will not be fine at all the time... Sumtimes will be HAPPY ; SAD... Non need to hide our own... Just be ourself... Wanna cry just cry & wanna laugh just laugh...
* But most important things is move forward & not keep looking at the back... Non need to care abt wat others ppl saying... They missunderstand or say sumthing that not rite, just let it... I cant control wat others ppl thinking & wat they wanna say... I just can be myself... Do wat i wanna do... wat i like to do... as long as 'dui dak zhu yan, dui dak zhu ji gei'... Thats enuv...
* The person that can really treat myself good & real to me at all the time... Was MYSELF......
* I really grow up act... I learned a lot of things from my frenz & my ji mui... Especially U(melody), u teach me alot... I dont wanna hide anymore... THANKS for u all... I will 'zhen xi' wat i am having now……
* LYANN is coming back... I WANNA BE MYSELF... I wanna be HAPPY ALWAYS & LIFE HAPPLY......

~shen bing de yi tian~

hao xin ku a........wo jin tian shen bing le , hai mei qu kan yi shen............qi shi wo xiang ming tian qing jia de , dan shi wo si chang MC , you dian bu hao yi si..............wo ye bu zhi dao wei shen me mei tian hui shen bing , ke neng wo shen ti bi jiao ruo ba...........gang cai kan le JI MUI de zhen qing gao bai , zhen de you dian gan chu ......mei ge ren dou hui jing li bu kai xing de jie duan , dan shi zhe jiu shi ren shen.......xi wang da jia dou kai kai xing xing ba...........JIA YOU JI MUI!!!!

~~CY~~

I Agree...Pls Don't Promise!! 22.11.07

Ji mui . . i agree wat u say..."他們说的话,永远都是那么的好听。他們答应过的事，也永远都是那么的好听". Before tat i aso trust everthing they(he) say, but now i really understand "他們的承诺，永远都只是好听的话而已"，i really wan to ask him "如果你們做不到的，你們何必答应呢？" Guys u all must know tat if anything u cant make it please don't promise to someone!! It will let someone get hurt.....

*~*好听*~*

你说的话，永远都是那么的好听。你答应过我的事，也永远都是那么的好听。重复了那么多遍，还是百听不厌。因为我喜欢听，所以你就不听的说，可是到后来，会发觉这所有的所有，都只不过是一句好听的话而已，就是这样而已。

宝贝的承诺，永远都只是好听的话而已，如果你做不到的，你何必答应呢？

突然很喜欢许如云的一首“好听”。有机会我一定会唱给你听的。“你说的话，永远都是那么的好听，你说的话，我都会相信。”

*~*melody*~*

Someone tell me tis...21.11.07

Today someone tell me tis words "我不必为他伤心…我只是失去了一个不认真爱我的人…可是他…却失去了一个真真爱他,真心爱他的人…所以…我比他好…对吧？幸福…只要我曾经认真拥有过…幸福还是在我的心灵的…" when i saw that i feel tat really meaningful..
I really know actually so many ppl stand beside me.. to care , accompany, share wif me..thank u..!!! i will recover soon..

*~*了解*~*

鱼和水，往往都生活在一起。鱼和水说：“你永远不会看见我什么时候流泪，因为我生活在水里” 水摇摇头，笑着对鱼说：“我知道你什么时候是在流泪的，因为，你活在我的心里”
一直以来，我都相信我是水，你是那一只鱼。一直都以为自己很了解你。因为，总觉得你和我很像。你曾经说过一句“你是最了解我的女人”。
时间渐渐证明了我是多余的，我到现在才知道，这才是真的你啊。
原来我才是那只鱼，因为你是留不住的水啊。
最难忘的，是你说过的那句，我了解你。
最遗憾的，是我根本就不了解你，你对我来说，很陌生。

~*~*美乐蒂*~*~

20.11.07 3rd day...

Today is the 3rd day we break up... today i feel better abit.. today in office really feel tired..afterwork i go dinner wif my family... after dinner i go yam cha wif my ji mui, then yam cha again wif my old fren.. i arrange my schedule wif full cos i dowan let myself alone n think again the sad.. i mus ganbateh... i must find back myself..

19.11.07.. the 2nd day..

today is the 2nd day i break up wif my bf.. i very thank u all my jimui n a net fren (Wayne) who i know him abt 5 or 6 years but we never meet b4 , they all always care 4 me..today i work 1/2 day ,after lunch i take leave.. i crazy until go to genting wif my jimui, we go there jus walk aroung then come back again.. when i together wif my jimui i still cant let down my feeling,my jimui talk to me "u jus need sometime to recover yourself, may b 2 week or two month or the most is 2 years".. i know i will .. but when i m alone now, i will think again n cry again..now is 2am.. jus now 1am somthing i jus reach home from my grandma house cos today is her birthday.. now i got chat wif him in MSN, he still call me DEAR DEAR.. he say sorry to me.. i cry again when saw him call me like tat..
i really miss him..i aso dunno y only 1 month can let me love him so deep..

19.11.07 Morning

Today when i wake up the 1st thing i think is i feel miss him..i feel wan hug him... i cant control myself i send sms to him.. he never reply .. i reach office .. i sit at office i feel wanna cry i scare i lose control to cry.. my head so pain.. i will take leave after lunch.. go find a place let me cry.. tq my ji mui always support me n accompany me.. i know i will be ok 1 days... may b i jus wan some time to recover... i mus "jien qiang"..

1 Month 4 Days.. 14.10.07-18.11.07

Today is the day i really sad n hurt..

Today is the day i together wif my bf 1 month 4 days..

Today also the day i break up wif my bf..

Today also is The End of our(me & bf) relationship..

So hurt..really so hurt... :( 18.11.2007

Today is 18.11.2007.. today really is the bad day in my 21 year of my life.. yesterday until today evening 5pm my bf never give me a call n sms..i control myself dowan call him cos i wanna see izit he will care abt me. today afternoon i go 1 Utama wif c yong n lyann..i go there actually is hope tat can see him a while even he is work..but he never at 1 Utama tis afternoon..so i jus shpping at there, but until 5pm i cant control liao i call him.. i ask him where r u then he say he at subang repair his car..then i ask him u not come find me for dinner meh? he ask me r u received my sms tis morning? i say no! i dint received any sms today.. then i ask him wat u write abt the sms , he told me tat he wan "single life" . . when i hear tat i jus hand up the call..then i cry..then we leave 1 Utama, the way we back i drive but other side i m crying, i cry when out from 1 Utama until puchong..at puchong i stop my car a side at bandar puteri..then i cry so long time.. until 7pm then we onli go sunway for my dinner..i really no mood to eat jus feel like wanna cry.. after dinner i ask my bf's fren ah tung to sunway cos i got somthing wan to ask him.. tat he told me is my bf say i m too over for checking him n control him, i know that i always ask him many thing , i will always ask bcos i feel tat he heart not fix at a place..so i worry.. every gf aso will unhappy if hear tat their bf take dinner or tea wif another girl..rite? i really nothing can say wif his fren i jus know to cry..
abt 9.30 i out from sunway to puchong bandar puteri station 1 hav a drink wif fren until 10.40pm we go back home..
when i reach home i straight away on my pc n check his frienster, cos last time when we start our relationship he give me know their password but now i log in he oredi change.. when the pc view tat wrong password my tear straight away drop down.. n inside his frenster profile all aso change..he change to b single n delete all our photo.. i really so hurt..
now i typing tis blog i m crying.. n saw tat his MSN personal msg write tat "I m starting my single life already..hehe.." u know how i hurt? the hurt i dunno how to explain..
~that he really so happy after break up wif me?
~tat he care abt my feel?
~tat he know how hurt m i?
~tat he know i m crying now?
~tat he really can let our relationship go?
~tat he still think abt me? even jus a bit?
~tat he know i still so miss him?
~tat he know i still LOVE HIM?
~r u still remember wat u PROMISE me before? where all the promise
go?
*All the promise:-
-he promise tat if anything he do make me unhappy , ask me must told
him , he will change.
-he promise tat he will no leave me forever.
-he promise tat if i m crazy he will still love me forever.. (cos i say to him i miss
him bcome crazy)
-he promise tat he will not change his atitude(when he treat me so good) tat he
treat me
-he promise tat he will not leave me start from 14.10.07. until die..
-he promise tat he will LOVE me for whole life.
-the promise more i feel warm is he write tat " my name is Han wei kong,
IC no.831017-10-5317 promise will care , love n hug my darling Julia
ling IC no. 861104-56-5298 forever"
*~ where all of this promise go?~*
i view back all the msg u send to me.. i feel happy but so hurt..
I think back the moment we together, i found he got call me like " loupo, darling, popo, bao bei ,ai ren , dear n the most warm is DEAR DEAR".
tat r so sweet!! BUT Now...
*Everything is gone(END)*

*~* Fair enough*~*

suddenly, all of us already turn to 21, all of us is going to be 22...
before these...how are we? who are we? and what is happening in the past to create the current JLsm?
We walk through our first love with different guys....we fall in love for the first time, it was so sweet...and every minute every words within the love story is keep touching our heart...
Our heart breaks after some important moment...our first love gone....what is the meaning of first love? the first guy you fall on him? or the first guy you love n gether? I don't know....but i still remember my first love is belongs to a guy who treated me damm bad... *laugh*
Suddenly think about him...he is a cute guy...who will never appreciate in girl's true heart...
He will just fool those girls around...I still remember kah hor told me b4 that he is not a simple person... " do you know that he change gf like changing clothes? " haha... but i bang the wall myself....and at last....i can see nothing other than the blood is floating around my heart....
Since that day...i swear not to be fool by those guys....i have the ability to be a good gf but i don't want, because he might not the good bf to you...
I started my playing life...keep desired by guys, but they will not ever have the change to destroy me, melody ! it sounds cruel to myself, that will not able to taste the love in my life, but i am enjoying to be a player in the relationship... no resposibility, no tears....only fun....
Until i met him. But he is a player as well. : )
he is good in playing those relationship games...and i am either one of his toy...
I scream, i sad, i cry...why he wants to do these on me...
and suddenly i think about those jerks who played by me before...they hurt too....
but what i did? never care about their feelings at all....
sometimes....human will just think that how unfair those ppl treat them....but did they think about how they treat others ppl in their life?
He is a player...and he fool me well....
but think deeply...i realize that...don't know since when....I am a player too, right? :)
Player VS Player....it's fair enough.... :)