So hurt..really so hurt... :( 18.11.2007

Today is 18.11.2007.. today really is the bad day in my 21 year of my life.. yesterday until today evening 5pm my bf never give me a call n sms..i control myself dowan call him cos i wanna see izit he will care abt me. today afternoon i go 1 Utama wif c yong n lyann..i go there actually is hope tat can see him a while even he is work..but he never at 1 Utama tis afternoon..so i jus shpping at there, but until 5pm i cant control liao i call him.. i ask him where r u then he say he at subang repair his car..then i ask him u not come find me for dinner meh? he ask me r u received my sms tis morning? i say no! i dint received any sms today.. then i ask him wat u write abt the sms , he told me tat he wan "single life" . . when i hear tat i jus hand up the call..then i cry..then we leave 1 Utama, the way we back i drive but other side i m crying, i cry when out from 1 Utama until puchong..at puchong i stop my car a side at bandar puteri..then i cry so long time.. until 7pm then we onli go sunway for my dinner..i really no mood to eat jus feel like wanna cry.. after dinner i ask my bf's fren ah tung to sunway cos i got somthing wan to ask him.. tat he told me is my bf say i m too over for checking him n control him, i know that i always ask him many thing , i will always ask bcos i feel tat he heart not fix at a place..so i worry.. every gf aso will unhappy if hear tat their bf take dinner or tea wif another girl..rite? i really nothing can say wif his fren i jus know to cry..
abt 9.30 i out from sunway to puchong bandar puteri station 1 hav a drink wif fren until 10.40pm we go back home..
when i reach home i straight away on my pc n check his frienster, cos last time when we start our relationship he give me know their password but now i log in he oredi change.. when the pc view tat wrong password my tear straight away drop down.. n inside his frenster profile all aso change..he change to b single n delete all our photo.. i really so hurt..
now i typing tis blog i m crying.. n saw tat his MSN personal msg write tat "I m starting my single life already..hehe.." u know how i hurt? the hurt i dunno how to explain..
~that he really so happy after break up wif me?
~tat he care abt my feel?
~tat he know how hurt m i?
~tat he know i m crying now?
~tat he really can let our relationship go?
~tat he still think abt me? even jus a bit?
~tat he know i still so miss him?
~tat he know i still LOVE HIM?
~r u still remember wat u PROMISE me before? where all the promise
go?
*All the promise:-
-he promise tat if anything he do make me unhappy , ask me must told
him , he will change.
-he promise tat he will no leave me forever.
-he promise tat if i m crazy he will still love me forever.. (cos i say to him i miss
him bcome crazy)
-he promise tat he will not change his atitude(when he treat me so good) tat he
treat me
-he promise tat he will not leave me start from 14.10.07. until die..
-he promise tat he will LOVE me for whole life.
-the promise more i feel warm is he write tat " my name is Han wei kong,
IC no.831017-10-5317 promise will care , love n hug my darling Julia
ling IC no. 861104-56-5298 forever"
*~ where all of this promise go?~*
i view back all the msg u send to me.. i feel happy but so hurt..
I think back the moment we together, i found he got call me like " loupo, darling, popo, bao bei ,ai ren , dear n the most warm is DEAR DEAR".
tat r so sweet!! BUT Now...
*Everything is gone(END)*